Monday, June 20, 2005
Suppose to be studyin... Ah, wad de hack, ain't much of a diff so to speak... I'm surfin again, hmm, bored...
Oh, I miss my lil furball... A darlin lil thing, wudn't trade it in for anything else in the world! Oh, and Zach's finally realised somethings in life? I don't think so... Still, good luck to him as always... I miss my pals... Haven't talk to them in ages, I wonder alot about them... I gotta learn how to use theis blogger thing... I'm gettin bored with this layout...
Oh, I miss my lil furball... A darlin lil thing, wudn't trade it in for anything else in the world! Oh, and Zach's finally realised somethings in life? I don't think so... Still, good luck to him as always... I miss my pals... Haven't talk to them in ages, I wonder alot about them... I gotta learn how to use theis blogger thing... I'm gettin bored with this layout...
Friday, June 03, 2005
My oh my, to be or not to be, that is the question... I feel stupid... Though that aint much of a difference from bein a fool. It’s been really long since I wrote anything anywhere… Anyway, it’s my entire fault… Shouldn’t have started anything maybe, it’s all too good to be true… The griping sense of confusion doesn’t even loosen for a second… It aint really fair big guy… But nonetheless, it was I who put the clouds above me, no one else… God, I’m so shamefully admitted to my selfish pride, I don’t see anything without a fog anymore no matter how many times I smelled the fumes dangerously strangling my own neck and people I love… I’m sorry Jae, I can’t take it… No one is good enough for me, I’m too caught up in fantasias which I dare not hope to eva discard… And it’s killing me inside! I hate to let go! I don’t understand how people can throw ashes into the sea or be a million miles away from a loved one… I don’t understand why people have to die…
It’s true I guess, if u don’t love and want anything, you won’t lose anything… Thus I either hated or hold things I love dearly to my heart. And worse of all, I had to hate to hurt, so I hated things I loved as well, to hurt them… Man, it sure is painful… I hate them for influencing me, I hate them for control and I hate it that I’m bounded to something or someone that I don’t have a control over. I’m highly possessive, anything that comes in between posses as a threat, I’ll immediately try to eliminate or hate the thing I love so I won’t get hurt if I have to let it go… But some things are just too agonizing to release… I hate to lose, I really hate it… If detaching is a worthy cause for greater good, I’ll take the hell of fire anytime… Especially for those whom I so dearly embrace… I’ll learn to let go no matter how much the pain exists. I’ve been doing that all my life…
The hardest thing I’ll eva have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don’t love you
It’s the hardest thing I’ll eva have to lie,
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can’t let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied,
And my heart’s not free
We’re not meant to be…
It’s the hardest thing I’ll eva have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don’t love you…
It’s true I guess, if u don’t love and want anything, you won’t lose anything… Thus I either hated or hold things I love dearly to my heart. And worse of all, I had to hate to hurt, so I hated things I loved as well, to hurt them… Man, it sure is painful… I hate them for influencing me, I hate them for control and I hate it that I’m bounded to something or someone that I don’t have a control over. I’m highly possessive, anything that comes in between posses as a threat, I’ll immediately try to eliminate or hate the thing I love so I won’t get hurt if I have to let it go… But some things are just too agonizing to release… I hate to lose, I really hate it… If detaching is a worthy cause for greater good, I’ll take the hell of fire anytime… Especially for those whom I so dearly embrace… I’ll learn to let go no matter how much the pain exists. I’ve been doing that all my life…
The hardest thing I’ll eva have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don’t love you
It’s the hardest thing I’ll eva have to lie,
To show no emotion when you start to cry
I can’t let you see what you mean to me
When my hands are tied,
And my heart’s not free
We’re not meant to be…
It’s the hardest thing I’ll eva have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don’t love you…
