Cazeclozed

Jee... I kinda realise I was livin in a complicated family when I hit about three... Stuff and me compared with most other kids are a whole lot different... It changes the way think and act... Even with all the thorns, there's a beautiful flower... And I intend to keep it livin!

There were many horrible stuff i have to face, and now... Things evolve but yet, I still have to face similar probs like this everyday... Maybe God knew i was a one of a kind person who can handle tough stuff like this... I dunnoe... But still, I can only thank him that he is still with me everyday being my pillar of strength... I love you big guy!

If it weren't for him, I might not have the spirit and heart to survive all this crapiness in my life... And I wudn't be head of CAC too, but that's beside the point... I remember all the things he did for me, every big miricle and every small detail, I'll take it into account and thank him... Jee, where would I be without you Jae...

One of my favourite things about him is creation itself... I never stop being at awe with the world around me... Creation at its purest is as treatourous as it is helpfull, as frightening as it is beautiful and as terrible as it is magnificent... How wonderful is our world, we never will and can tell... But one thing I can tell, he made it because he loves every single thing about it...

Holidaes are gonna be ova soon... :( Gonna miss all the free time and Hangen with friends... Well, got dupid O's to work for, and I'm slackin real bad! Haha...

My bro can be a real pain in the arse! Why can't he just think straight for once?! Be humane?! I can't believe that guy stays so long on the computer playing, and when I need to use it, starts sayin he has work to do on the comp! He had the whole day and he didn't do it! And I even have to help him get it?! Whats wrong with him?! He is just unspeakably unreasonable! Fancy blamin others for what he himself did wrong!

I wonder what Joan and the others r gettin moi for my bdae... Not soft toy... Not the cute rock thingy... Not the expensive globe laser thing... Not the cool starwars lightsabre too... Haiz...! I wanna so noe!

Thank god this blog is pretty private... So I guess revealin some stuff here won't matter... How shall I put this... I guess I'm kinda glad I'm single again... All the freedom I want... Haha... Ofcoz I miss the intimate moments and all but this is totally rad! I feel mean for not feeling guilty at all for being single... jeez...

But goin on relations has thought me alot... Its thought me how to hardened my heart when needed... Noe wonder some people think I'm a little mean even if they say I'm fun... It has thought me that sacrifices goes both ways and maybe real costly... And I do noe when and how much to give now... If its real, its all...

I guess I'm juz finding comforts with my frens now... And I do hope I am comforted... But sometimes, its easier talking to a total stranger... Open minded, he gives no judgments and juz listen...

I wish, I wish with all my heart that true love will heal my broken heart. Let it lift my sunken soul, let it mend my spirits glow. With each cry and with each rip, the dagger pierce my sorrows deep. But break my fall and reach my core, secrets kept by days and more. With light and dark, I crash and burn, to whom descend, my duties earn. Keep me safe and keep me warm, the fires hearth till crack of dawn. Draw me close and draw me deep, under your wings I solemnly weep. Take me, make me, as your own, waves of passion, an angel grows. I wish, I wish with all my heart that true love can heal all broken hearts.

Hey hey... Here goes another... So what if its kinda childish, so sue me! Haha, can I help it if I wrote it so long ago?!

I'm just an average teen, a little under the border
I've got my whole life ahead of me
I'm not a popular kid, just your everyday freak
And guys are a nuisance to me

I'm not an expert on any field, I'm just a jack of all trades
And I don't go runnin' round in circles
like an idiot whose caught in a race...

But what I don't get is why is life so complicated
It drives me crazy just thinkin that I'm still in school
And everytime I try to dream, I get hit on the head,
cause in reality I live in just an ordinary life.

My life's a daily routine, which is in no perfect order
And my chores are just crampin' up on me
I get caught up in space, a little too much to heaven
I gotta come back down to earth again

I'm quite a dreamer and I get lost at cross roads
So I don't always think straight
I get tied down with all the stress and pressure
but I'll always be standing up again...

Now what I don't get is why is life so complicated
It drives me crazy just thinkin that I'm still in school
And everytime I try to dream, I get hit on the head,
cause in reality I live in just an ordinary life.

Yeah, yeah... In just an ordinary life...
Yeah, yeah... Oh...